Two months ago today I officially transitioned from the role of Associate Pastor at a large, historic, downtown church in Macon, GA to that of Senior Pastor at a small, urban, neighborhood church in Savannah, GA. In some ways it’s hard to believe two months have already gone by. It seems it was only yesterday that I was saying farewell to good friends and a loving church while anxiously awaiting the joys and challenges that awaited me at a new church in a new city. In other ways (for example, the increased number of gray hairs I’m finding when I look in the mirror) it seems like a lifetime has already gone by.
I’ve been blogging under this unofficial series title, “In Transition,” for sometime now. Mainly it’s because I can’t really think of other topics to blog about — everything I’m focusing on has something to do with my transition and ensuring that I start well in a new church. The increased workload of pastoral care, weekly sermon planning, and meeting new people also doesn’t help with allowing for time to blog on issues outside of my day-to-day life in the local church.
I’m struggling to learn leadership lessons daily it seems. So after 8 weeks or so in a new position, I figure it’s time to blog on what I believe to be one of the toughest leadership lessons that pastors will struggle with throughout their career. Namely, how do you lead in such a way that your high moments don’t get you too high and your low moments don’t get you too low? In other words, how do you find emotional balance as a leader?
In his book, Authentic Leadership: Rediscovering the Secrets to Creating Lasting Value, Bill George writes:
“Balanced leaders develop healthier organizations…Their employees make higher levels of commitment to the organization, In the end they achieve better results on the bottom line.”
Here George is emphasizing the importance of managing your time and making sure you balance your work with your personal life. But I think he also speaks to a deeper emotional and even spiritual problem among leaders, and especially pastors – we have to learn how to balance our emotions so as to not let successes get us too high or setbacks get us too low.
And as a new leader, I find this especially difficult.
Pastors by nature are a people-pleasing bunch. We rise and fall on the affirmation and criticism we receive from others. And it can become easy to let those two things – affirmation and criticism – shape our worth as a leader and as a person. Our egos can drive us as leaders. The worst-kept secret in clergy circles is that we are a people of larger than normal egos. But I suppose this is true among most any leader. However in ministry, we’re led to believe that ego refers only to something bad. The truth is, ego is a very normal thing among leaders so long as that ego is channeled and expressed in healthy ways that benefit others and not the leader themselves.
In his book, Good to Great, Jim Collins writes:
Level 5 leaders channel their ego away from themselves and into the larger goal of building a great company. It’s not that Level 5 leaders have no ego or self-interest. Indeed, they are incredibly ambitious – but their ambition is first and foremost for the institution, not themselves.
But this also means that our value cannot be measured by moments of success or failure. We must find a balance between affirmation and criticism lest we go crazy trying to work ourselves into happiness. Value comes from a place deeper than the expectations and feedback of others. It comes from a deeper place than the successes we enjoy and failures that set us back.
In No Man is An Island, Thomas Merton writes:
“Happiness consists in finding out precisely what the ‘one thing necessary’ may be, in our lives, and in gladly relinquishing all the rest. For then, by a divine paradox, we find that everything else is given us together with the one thing we needed.”
I think the same is true for leadership. We cannot spend our entire vocational lives trying to live on the praise of others and avoid being killed by criticism. We must seek the “one thing necessary” and then faithfully live into our role as leaders. Is that “one thing” affirmation or the avoidance of criticism? Or is it something deeper? Are we leaders because we like the feeling of success or the joy of people praising us? Or are we leaders because we are living into a deeper sense of calling — a calling that is hard to put into words and yet, in our most honest moments, serves as a force to acts upon us, shaping us, and giving us the vision we need to be faithful to that calling. Balance inevitably comes when we lead out of a sense of a deep sense of calling and not to please or win people over. And we can find this balance once we discover that our personal value is not found in our status as leaders or the impression others have of us. Our value is found solely in the fact that we are created in God’s image – we are God’s beloved children and nothing can ever change that.
I am new to this whole leadership thing. And I confess that I care too much about what people think of me. I let success take me too high. And I let setbacks get me down, sometimes for an entire day or two. But I also know I am not alone. God is always with me and nothing can change the fact that I am a beloved child of God. All personal value and meaning is rooted in this reality. I also know that many others struggle with this same issue. This is why I titled this post, “…The Leadership Lesson Not Easily Learned.” It’s a lesson we all struggle with. As one friend who’s now retired from ministry told me, “If you learn how to strike that balance now, you’re doing pretty good. It takes most of us an entire career to learn it.”
And so the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single, stumbling step. But it’s a step taken remembering that I am not the product of what I do or achieve. I am a beloved child of the God who creates and redeems all things — even me.