I’ve been a little quiet lately due to the fact that we had our annual conference and my family has been hard at work packing our house, saying our goodbyes, enjoying a final Sunday in one place, actually moving to a new city, unpacking, and enjoying a first Sunday in a new place. The last 3 weeks or so have been a whirlwind to say the least.
Now that I’m a full week into my new position, I thought it was time to share some of my initial reactions to the monumental culture shift that is moving from an associate pastor position to a senior pastor position.
In other words, this goes out to all of you fellow former associates who, like me, now find yourselves buried under a mountain of work ranging from renewing church insurance policies, to preaching plans that come every week now, to requests for handouts, to pastoral care calls that you can no longer share with other clergy on staff.
1. It’s pretty scary to realize you’re now the senior pastor and the final word on many decisions.
My first official day in the office began with a 20-minute meeting with the secretary who ran down a list of forms to sign, decisions that have waited to be made, and plans that need to be finalized. About halfway through the meeting, I looked behind me hoping a senior pastor would walk in to do the heavy lifting of this hodgepodge of “things we need to go over.” Alas, they didn’t come. As one friend reminded me, there should have been a mirror on that door. It was a scary and humbling thing to realize in real-time that you now have the duty to exercise leadership skills your previous position didn’t offer.
2. All of the problems now come solely to you.
One of the things I sort of enjoyed about being an associate was that I was largely sheltered from the muck and mire of church problems. I could do ministry, share with others joyfully, be celebrated for my contribution, and not have to worry about the downside of ministry — real people with real problems and squabbles. Things have now changed. Yet I’m also hopeful there is a big upside to this change. Can you truly celebrate with others if you can’t also mourn or gripe or listen or help to resolve conflicts? Sharing life with others in ministry means experiencing everything — the good, the bad, and the ugly. So I’m hopeful there will be a big upside (and I’m grateful no major squabbles have arose…yet).
3. Preaching comes every 7 days…seriously!
I love to preach. I love the creative act of preparing for a sermon. I’m a big reader and surveyor of pretty much anything and everything around me. I’m always fascinated with the plethora of ways God’s presence and grace is among us — in both big loud ways and small seemingly quiet ways. But I’m also transitioning from the sort of associate pastor role where I preached 4-5 times a year. Now (I’ve been told) I will preach every week. And as much as I enjoy the preaching task, I have to admit that I’m a little intimidated by this responsibility. For me, this means I will need to be even more focused on my own spiritual growth and daily life. I will need to be more and more aware of the needs of others and the ways God is moving among us. I don’t agree with the old adage that preachers need to separate “preaching material” from “personal material” (as though that were even possible). It’s not that we look for a sermon everywhere. However I do think preachers need to be aware of the ways God is speaking and moving in the things we read, the places we go, the people we meet, and the life that happens all around us. Sermon material will come as a gift of grace. But I truly believe this comes only because it was first a gift to the life of the preacher.
4. The laity can teach us a lot!
I’m reminded that Bishop Ken Carter told us this during his sermon at our ordination service in South Georgia. And now that I’m living into this new role, I can testify that it is very true. It is daunting to think we’re all alone in ministry or that everything depends on what we do or say. Leadership is key, but that leadership comes from the very life shared among those you are leading (thanks be the God!). When I’m extra worried about how I’m going to do something or change something or carry something out, I’m delighted to know there are so many lay people in my new church who have strong and vital faith lives. They live what they believe daily. They’re already teaching me how to love and nurture others. And they’re already teaching me ways to serve and give myself for the sake of someone else. Ministry doesn’t solely depend on the pastor!
5. Prayer and study matter..a lot.
This sort of goes with #3 but I wanted to offer it in a different light. I’m a fairly capable person with a lot of energy. I can be easily fooled into thinking everything I can accomplish anything and everything on my own. This transition has taught be there is no possible way I can do everything that needs to be done by my own merits or strengths. I must find time for study and prayer because I need the constant reminder that I’m solely dependent on God’s grace. Pastors need the reminder that we must depend on God for everything. I keep books on my desk to inspire me — the bible, Thomas Merton, a devotional book. I’ve already found that I need to ground myself both in scripture and in the pursuit of the inner life (through prayer). You can’t do one without the other and be an effective leader in the church. Scripture reminds me of the values and patterns of how we are to live as the church. But the life of prayer and solitude guide us to listen and find where the Holy Spirit is at work around us. Prayer and solitude alone can become a self-serving task. And reading the bible only can lead us to agree with points and principles yet we’re void of how to explore, question, and discover where God is and what God is doing among us. We need both and we need to make exploring both a daily task.
I’ll stop for now but there will be more later. I’ve got my door open and there are things to tend to on the other side. But maybe I’ll begin by closing my computer and diving into one of the trusty books on the other side of my desk. The journey of a thousand miles begins with baby steps (wisdom I now know to be very true!).